In a world where fertility is often reduced to medical statistics and biological timelines, a new voice is emerging to reclaim the spiritual and emotional heart of the journey. Spirit Mama: Fertility & Conception, the latest release from author and executive coach Ariane de Bonvoisin, offers a transformative guide for women navigating the complex path to motherhood. By blending practical advice with a holistic perspective, the book invites women to connect with a different side of themselves and find peace amidst the pressure. We sat down with Ariane to discuss the inspiration behind her new book and how women can shift their mindset from stress to surrender. Ariane coaches many entrepreneurs, and fertility is a big subject right now.
Q: Your book, Spirit Mama, addresses a side of fertility that is often overlooked in traditional medical discussions. What was the catalyst for writing this book, and how did your own journey influence its creation?
Ariane de Bonvoisin:
I had my first child naturally and super easily, and then when we tried for a second, things didn’t go the way we hoped for. For years, I searched for experts, authors, doctors, healers, and other moms who might have a piece of the fertility puzzle. I did hundreds of interviews, and each had something amazing to say and add to the journey. I realize that it was my duty and my way of being of service to share all of this with other women and couples who may find something in this book that will bring them their child. There are many ways to be a mother, and creating this book was my second child!
The book, therefore, focuses more on what is not yet in the mainstream, what people are doing in other countries, and what can help with the challenges people face nowadays with getting pregnant. The main theme throughout is this notion that fertility is not just about science or sex or controlling all the different variables. If that were the case, the fertility rate would be a lot higher than it is, so there must be something else going on. Something invisible. Something which points to energy, frequency, spirituality, God, the soul’s journey, Life itself. A better way of explaining it might be simply to use the word ‘consciousness’. Life starts when consciousness arrives, so it makes sense to finally start focusing on being more aligned with being conscious in all ways. That is why I called it ‘A More Conscious Journey Through Motherhood.”
Q: The term “Spirit Mama” suggests an identity that goes beyond just the physical act of parenting. How do you define a “Spirit Mama,” and why is this distinction so important for women trying to conceive?
Ariane de Bonvoisin: Spirit Mama is a term that connects the energies of motherhood with a higher power, or whatever you want to name it. We all have different words for it: Love, Nature, God, Source, The Divine, The Universe, or just Life itself. It puts us back in relationship with that energy, that mysterious force which we all know is what grants life. We are living in a world where this connection is not honored, valued, cherished, or focused on. Some countries still do and see it as the most important relationship they have to nurture. In the West, our minds matter more than our bodies. Fertility and conception happen in the body, so it makes sense to drop back into our beautiful physical temple. Seeing the miracle of conception as something higher, something we might not be able to understand or scientifically replicate in a clinic, is what this term points to. We are already Spirit Mamas. We are all connected to spirit, whether we know it or not, and we all have the energy of motherhood. There are many ways to bring that to the world, not only through having a child, but by birthing anything of value that is in service to your fellow human beings. A book, a baby, a movie, a business, a happy home, a school, etc. The term Spirit Mama also applies to how to raise conscious children that are really prepared for life. There are two other books coming in this series: one on Pregnancy and Birth, and the last one, on The Early Years. Each season asks us to meet it with consciousness and love more than anything else.
Q: One of the central themes in your book is the concept that your thoughts, intentions, frequency, and consciousness have a lot to do with your life and outcomes. How does this impact fertility?
Ariane de Bonvoisin: We live in a vibrational universe. Everything is energy. Science knows that. Your thoughts are also energy. They have power. Some are empowering. Some are disempowering! We need to choose very wisely during the fertility journey what we are a match for. We get what we focus on, and what we focus on eventually manifests, so making sure we are planting the seeds for what we want, not what we don’t want, is critical. It all starts with our beliefs. Beliefs about ourselves, our body, our age, our environment, and, more importantly, beliefs about life itself- do you believe you live in a friendly universe or an unfriendly one? Are you lucky or unlucky? Are good things on their way, or is life unfair? A change of beliefs is more important than people realise. The body is constantly listening to what you are thinking! We need to become a match to what we want. Whether it’s money, a job, romance, or in this book’s case, a baby. Are you loving the body or beating it up? Are you being gentle and kind or acting like an addict and controlling? Are you connected to the energy of joy or despair? I’m not talking about being perfect; I’m pointing to being more aware, more mindful about our inner environment. Fertility is an inside job as much as it is an outside to-do list of tests, foods to eat, things to avoid, etc! I think it’s time to look more at the inner than the outer, which is where many people have been focusing.
Q: What are the top 3 things you wish someone had told you at the beginning of your fertility journey when trying for another child?
Ariane de Bonvoisin: That everything is spiritual. IVF is spiritual. Surrogacy is spiritual. Acupuncture is spiritual. Getting help of any kind is spiritual. That there is no right way. No better way to bring in a child. I wanted to try naturally for a while, and actually, it would have served me to try everything I eventually discovered in this book. Next would be that I needed girlfriends, help, and therapists to navigate the journey and not only rely on my husband. It is a lot for couples to go through together, and you can’t turn only to your partner for healing, especially when times are challenging, as they, too, are dealing with tough emotions. Finally, that this is only one part of your beautiful life and not to become obsessed with this one thing happening as the measure of success or joy or of having a great year. Babies arrive in divine timing, not in our limited human timing, so until that happens, in whatever form that happens, to continue having a blessed life, full of learning and growth, and especially fun adventures.
Q: You speak about the difference between “trying” to get pregnant and “preparing to bring in a soul” and the importance of choosing words wisely. Can you elaborate on this shift in mindset and how it alleviates the pressure many women feel?
Ariane de Bonvoisin: I never liked the words ‘infertility’ or ‘trying to conceive’ or similar phrases. Words carry immense power, more than we imagine. Words trigger our emotional and nervous systems, which then trigger our hormones and even our heart, womb, and other organs! All of these are connected when it comes to fertility; the whole body and all its systems are talking to each other. So yes, trying is not a powerful message to the body. Preparing the body is a joyful adventure to tune in to what the body is asking for, what it needs. I believe the soul helps the mother even before she is pregnant, to make better choices, to stop working so hard, to love herself and focus on herself, to forgive, to get honest, to communicate her needs, to really listen to her intuition. None of these are about trying to get pregnant; they are about preparing her for the miracle of becoming a mother!
Q: Medical interventions like IVF can sometimes feel clinical and devoid of emotion. How does Spirit Mama help women navigate the medical side of fertility while maintaining their spiritual and emotional well-being?
Ariane de Bonvoisin: IVF, like anything, can be incredibly spiritual. IVF carries with it the real energy of ‘choice’ and ‘intention’. If a woman or couple has decided on this route, it comes with so much hope and love and alignment that it is very emotional. You can still bring all your emotions and your spiritual side to IVF. You can bless the needles, pray over the medication, set a loving intention before the procedures, and bring in music that makes you feel loved and safe. IVF clinics are also environments where miracles happen daily. That is the epitome of being connected to the miracle field and resting in love.
Spirit Mama is more than just a guide; it is a compassionate companion for any woman standing at the threshold of motherhood. By honoring the invisible forces at play—intuition, trust, and divine timing—Ariane de Bonvoisin provides a roadmap for a journey that is as much about birthing a new version of oneself as it is about birthing a child. Spirit Mama: Fertility & Conception is available now for those ready to embrace a more conscious path to creation.
