Why does retroactive jealousy arise and how to deal with it

Jealousy is inherent in all people to one degree or another. It can be valid and unreasonable, depending on the situation. Someone is jealous because of fear and self-doubt, and someone because of a very strong, but at the same time defective love, which gives rise to a feeling of possessiveness.  Only it is not specified that this love is not real, because it deprives a person of freedom. People often not only can’t live a calm and happy life because of jealousy but also make serious mistakes, because of which their relationships are severely deteriorated or completely destroyed. This feeling arises when one of the partners feels threatened by a third party. Either one of the partners is interested in a third party, or this “third” is interested in the person who is already in the relationship. 

Dealing with intrusive thoughts can be exhausting, depressing, and extremely frustrating. Do you want to overcome retroactive jealousy? Just head over to the Retroactive Jealousy website to learn about helpful steps you can take right now.

Romantic jealousy is divided into two categories: sexual (you worry that your partner will cheat on you physically) and emotional (you worry that your partner will be emotionally close to someone else). According to research, men are more likely to suffer from sexual jealousy, while women are more prone to emotional jealousy.

Why does jealousy arise and how to deal with it? Both types of jealousy can arise from insecurity in a relationship. The reasons for such uncertainty are unjustified expectations, unequal obligations of partners, the experience of breaking off relations at the initiative of the ex-partner, and experienced betrayal in previous relationships.

Sometimes jealousy can arise as a result of high self-esteem, which makes the flaws in the other person’s behavior more pronounced than our own. A person with high self-esteem may feel that they are being treated inappropriately, not loved enough.

But jealousy isn’t always a bad thing. To a small or moderate degree, jealousy can indicate a strong bond and love. There are situations when people try to test their partners to see if they are jealous. If you do not overdo it, then there is nothing criminal.

If you’re feeling retroactive jealousy, here are five tips to help you stop being jealous.

Control your jealousy. Realize that this is a complex emotion that everyone has and you shouldn’t be stressed. Refuse behavior that only increases jealousy. Stop interrogating and checking your partner, following him and controlling everything. The more you do this kind of thing, the more you fuel your jealousy.

Overcoming jealousy once and for all will not work, but you should not be constantly jealous. On days when this feeling arises, set aside 10-20 minutes for jealous thoughts, writing them down and analyzing. But then don’t let yourself go back to those thoughts.

Establish rules. Talk to your partner frankly. Talk about each other’s behavior, which is acceptable to both of you and which is not. Tell your partner what confuses you and what makes you jealous. Listening to each other and making compromises helps build a happy relationship where there is no room for jealousy.

 Jealousy does not always arise out of the blue. It happens that your partner really deceives you or is simply not suitable for you. Don’t be afraid to break up if the relationship goes nowhere.

Instead of seeking stability in a relationship with jealousy and the accompanying negative reinforcement, try re-attuning to the opposite pole. Instead of sarcastic comments, try to notice something good and feel free to compliment. By default, we believe that flattering is shameful, and based on this, in principle, we stop telling each other something good. But something caustic is fun and a sign of a sharp mind. Even so, leave it somewhere outside, not inside your relationship. Perhaps it is such small changes that will gradually strengthen your fragile relationship, and jealousy will gradually dry up completely or it will remain quite a bit.