The terrible twos and the adolescent years have a lot of similarities. Your children are doing amazing new activities during both periods, but they are also testing limits (and triggers) and having fits. All age ranges face the same important developmental assignment: children must begin to draw away from their parents and demand their own freedom. It’s no surprise that people occasionally act as though they’re the center of the universe.
This renders parenting more difficult, particularly since teenagers are starting to make choices that have real consequences, such as school, friends, and driving, not to mention substance abuse and sex. Teens, on the other hand, are still learning to control their emotions, thus they are prone to taking chances and making rash decisions.
So, how do you communicate and reach out to them without being intimidating or making them feel like you are invading their privacy? Continue reading to find out how!
1. Even if You Don’t Comprehend, Begin with Apprehension
Here’s a simple tip that will assist you in all of your interactions with your teen. Even though you don’t approve or comprehend what they’re dealing with, try to start every encounter with your kid with compassion, no matter how difficult it may be.
Here’s an illustration. When your child is meant to be doing her homework, you find her on the internet conversing with her buddies. Do not start lashing out at her.
Your adolescent, on the other hand, is thinking to himself /herself about the troubles they are going through at school.
Your kid and you are existing in two distinct worlds. Ask your child why they are chatting, and she’ll tell you. Even if you don’t totally grasp her situation, try to be sympathetic.
Whether they saw a nice makeup bag or some makeup brushes they have been dying to have. You can also make things easier for them(your daughter in this case) by giving them a small package of bulk strip lashes.
Listen to them as they rant about acne breakout and help them develop good skincare routines with quality essential oils.
2. Don’t Get Worked up About it or Make it Personal
When it comes to communicating with your teen, emotion is your adversary. Remember that what he/she says and does has nothing to do with you. You may not agree with how they’re acting—or even thinking—but maintain your feelings out of it, even if his actions have an influence on you.
We’re not implying that this is a simple task. It’s difficult, but it’s extremely effective, and it’s a skill that anyone can master. In fact, before speaking with their children, we advise parents to recite this mantra to themselves: “it’s just parenting and nothing personal”.
There’s no need to be upset with your child for being themselves when you think about it. They may be making a bad decision, but the truth is that they may not yet possess the necessary skills to make a better one. So your duty is to assist them in making better decisions so that they can improve their problem-solving abilities.
Concentrate solely on your role as a parent; this will assist you to be less emotional. Remember not to take things personally when you’re irritated. When you create boundaries, your child will first dislike you. Tell yourself that this is just a problem to fix and that it’s all part of the normal parenting routine.
3. Ask Straightforward Inquiries
Inquire about your teen’s thoughts and work together. Allow them to know that you believe in him and that you are not angry with him because they are going through a difficult time in their life. You will begin to establish true confidence in them when you show them that you believe in their talents and that you have given them the freedom to figure things out on their own.
Asking inane questions that put your youngster on the defensive is not a good idea.
If they reply they haven’t thought of anything, provide a few of your own and ask which one would be best for them. Make it clear to your kid that they are responsible for his own difficulties. Do not enter his “box.” Allow them the chance—yes, the chance—to solve their own issues.
The ultimate goal is to teach your child to think independently. Thinking for yourself will make them feel as if they have some control over their surroundings.
Listen carefully to what they say and challenge them to consider each option thoughtfully. What aspects of each decision will be successful and which will be problematic? What would the natural repercussions of each decision be, and how would he react to them?
4. Don’t Take any Action Until Both of You Have Calmed Down
Another general rule is to wait till both you and your kid have settled down before doing anything. You don’t have to reply to your child when you’re upset or when your youngster is angry and in your face, for example. You are not allowed to say anything. If you really require it, you can take a couple of minutes or even longer.
You can engage in a conversation with them once your emotions have calmed down. In the heat of battle, it’s never an ideal idea to introduce a complicated topic or settle a quarrel. So, if both you and your child are unhappy, take a break and return when you can deal with the situation more calmly.
The Bottom Line
Communicating with teenagers is not easy and we are not going to lie to you, it’s going to be a roller coaster. But eventually, you’ll get the hang of it. Good luck!