Andrew Lloyd Beaver PA | Being Too Nice

It’s easy to forget that there’s a stark difference between someone who is too kind to say no, and someone who is genuinely kind enough to help you out or follow your way. If you are unaware of this contrast, you may be in danger of taking advantage of people day-to-day explains Andrew Lloyd Beaver PA. On the flip side, you might have been taken advantage of in the past for being too nice. (And yes, it’s possible to be too nice!)

Andrew Lloyd Beaver PA asks, “why is being too nice considered a bad thing?”

Whilst in today’s society it will always pay off to be nice, it is a severely damaging habit to simply be a ‘pushover’ or in other words, too nice. If you can remain calm, collected & thoughtful, whilst also remembering to respect yourself, that’s the perfect combo. Below, we’ll outline a few scenarios in which being too nice is reducing your quality of life, and the quality of your social interactions.

Andrew Lloyd Beaver PA wonders “by being “too nice”  are you are drawing a bullseye on yourself for every psychopath to take full advantage of you?”

1. Don’t forget the most important person…

You. The first red-light of a human being who is giving too much of themselves away for the sake of kindness: forgetting to be nice to themselves! It is so easy for chronic-nice-people to mistake ‘being kind’ with ‘neglecting themselves.’ They get so caught up in trying to be everyone’s favourite, that they forget they should sometimes prioritise themselves, their own time, health, and well-being. Don’t forget yourself, no matter how nice you aim to be!

2. Being too nice can paint a bad self-portrait

We’ve all seen it in the workplace, or at school, or even at home: the super-nice, saying-yes-to-everything people are often seen as weak. Not terribly so, and not enough for you to dislike them, but they just seem weak. They don’t fend for themselves; they take all criticism (fair or unfair) as gospel truth, and they’re always the ones doing the favours, regardless of their own time & desires. This, sadly, makes you appear weak to your peers.

“Whilst trying to be a strong friend, don’t fall victim to being a weak person,” says Andrew Lloyd Beaver PA.

3. People don’t like to trust ‘Too Nice’.

It’s pretty rare, right? Have you ever had a neighbor offer to cover the price of a flat tyre? Or insisted on giving you a ride to another city free-of-charge? You sit and think: well, this is nice – but what’s in it for them? What is their motive?

And some people don’t even have a motive – they might just want to help out. But you’ll always be expecting them to ask for something back, even if they never do. And that’s the issue: being too nice isn’t trusted. Like in the first paragraph, you should attempt to strike a fine balance between being kind and generous, BUT respectful of yourself & your time. Because even if you’re doing something out of total kindness, without expectation of repayment, that isn’t what people are used to.

4. The Paradox: ‘Too Nice’ attracts ‘Not Nice’

One of the less-discussed problems with being too kind is the magnetic effect of a helpful, kind person. Yes, you may encounter some like-minded, lovely people along the way. But when people catch wind of how generous you are, they might try to take advantage.

You need to compose yourself in a way that is assertive: I do favors for those I love and care for – others haven’t earned the luxury. People who notice that you can’t say no are likely to take advantage of you – and these people are not to be trusted. They are freebie-chasers, low-energy people and bad friends that you don’t want around.

Respect your time and reserve your kindest acts for those who deserve it: this will shut out any leeches that don’t respect your efforts or good heart.

5. You’ll transform into something you’re not

The most dangerous & most important point to hammer home in this post: don’t get so caught up in being nice that you skew your own image. It is very possible to be distracted enough by stacking up good deeds, that you forget why you’re doing them, who you are and what others around you mean to you.

Andrew Lloyd Beaver PA wants to emphasize that it is a danger to your personal identity. Don’t forget who you are, how valuable your time is, and what you truly want.

On top of this, don’t get it twisted: just because you’re nice to people, it doesn’t mean you’re entitled to any niceness back. People get so focused on outputting kindness that they forget not everyone is like them. Some people will never return the acts, and some people will do it in a heartbeat. Surround yourself with the people who return your kindness and make you a better person.